… siMpLe tHouGht of -mEd’z- …

waw…kemarin berbuka puasa bareng teman2 SMA gw…mmm, kebayangkan gimana serunya…mulai lah kita ngebahas masa lalu yang gak penting sama sekali…hahaha!!! and you know…sebenernya yang puasa itu cuman gw sendiri!!! siaul kan!!! jadi mo dibilang buka puasa bersama jg ya emang…gw buka puasa sama orang2 di PasFes itu!!!Dodol!!!

Ada gw (yang asli puasa dari sahur sampe buka…amien), Shinta (yang doyan banget nonton Kanda Band di PasFes…so ngumpulnye disono deh), Frq (i ever told bout him couple times in here right??) and my "bule" friend name David (ni anak "temen" gw banget waktu sma…tapi kita "putus", hayah!!!, gara2 satu masalah b4 our graduation day…baru ketemu lagi setelah beberapa tahun kemudian).

ternyata Kanda Band play awesome that night…dari mulai lagu2nya Bon Jovi, Iris-nya Goo Goo Dolls (keren banggett!!), Last Kiss-nya Pearl Jam (sumpah…gw melting…hahaha)…sampe Sempurna-nya Andra and The BackBone (jadi keinget someone…hhaayyahh!!!)…yang lucu tuh ekspresinya si Dave yang sumpah datar abis!!! padahal dia ngaku jd suka tiba2 sama tu band…tapi seperti layaknya kita nonton Band manggung biasanya kan yg ikutan nyanyi2 nggak jelas, hands in the air, or other ordinary thing we did in a concert!! tapi dia tuh kaya’ babe2 yg nganterin anaknye nonton konser…datar abis ekspresinya…ngakunya sih itu etika yg diajarin sama John Robert Power (hhaaiiyyaaahh!!!)!!! mmmpphh…seperti biasa, Frq adl the last man comin’…"ngaret" mnkn nama tengahnya…hohoho..maap pren …oh iye…si David, rambutnya itu loh…hahaha…jadi gundul di pinggir2 nye…mang kl auditor itu susah banget yah…sampe bisa botak gituh…hehehe…maapp!!…mnkn "kebanyakan ngitung" after effect kali’ yah…hahaha…waktu denger Iris-nya Goo Goo Dolls sama Last Kiss-nya Pearl Jam tuh bener2 pas banget momentnya. Jadi keinget masa lalu…pas tu lagu lg nge hits, pas moment2 nya kita seru2an di sma…keinget kejadian gw sama David dulu…hahaha…dia jadi temen deket gw bangget…sebelum akhirnya kita pisah kelas di tingkat 3…dia masuk IPS and gw IPA (dan sampe sekarang kita masih aja ngebahas hal2 g penting kenapa dia pilih IPS)…Kita ketemu pertama kali kelas 2 SMA, dia pindahan dari Semarang (kl g salah)…semenjak itu jadi akrab ma tu anak. Oh…gw inget…waktu gw Ultah yg ke 17 dia kasi gw kasetnya The Corrs yg In Blue…hahaha…emang wktu ntuh lagi ngetrend2nya tu band…mana keren2 lagi lagu2 nya…bener bangget tu anak!!! Tapi sayang, sekarang gw dah g tau dimana tu kaset (mudah2an ni anak g tau kl kaset dari die dah hilang entah kemana…hehehe). Kadang yg gw kagum sama ni bocah, dia tuh masih aja inget sama hal2 kecil dulu…sempet bbrp kali dia bilang…"inget gak met waktu dulu lu…", "inget gak med pas kita…", "lu masih inget waktu lu bilang…" dan sebagainya…awesome!!! gw aje sampe mengernyitkan dahi gw dan bilang…"emang iya ya vid???"…hehehe. sbnernya gw masih canggung sama dia setiap ketemu bbrp kali lalu…gara2 masalah dulu…tapi sumpah…sebenernya tuh gw kangen banget ma tu anak…damn!!! dulu kita bisa asik…gw pengen sekarang pun begitu…tapi smp sekarang masih brasa canggung euy…

Waktu itu kt punya masalah yg kaya’nya simple…tapi jadi ribet gara2…apa ya…gw kok lupa?? …pokoknya, at the end dia tu marah banget…and left gitu aja…aduh…jadi keinget…(maap yah…), dan bodohnya gw tuh yang tetep keukeuh g mau minta maaf sampe berlangsung 1 smester pas tingkat akhir sma…smp akhirnya gw sadar n mau fix-up our broken link pas (dan gw g tau sebelumnya ttg hal itu) saat hari terakhir dia di Bali (dia bakal balik ke Semarang)…sumpah…hari itu gw nyesel abis (dan sampe hari ini mungkin)…that’s why kenapa sampe sekarang gw masih berasa canggung sama dia…yah…hoply everything’s goin’ better…and kita bisa seru2an ky waktu sma dulu…mmpphh…what a day!!

You are the one who caused me trouble sleeping recent days..
Want to admit my feeling but i’m worried..Want to touch you but i’m too scared..Want to tell how much i love you but will i heared those words come back..Want to get close to you but i’m afraid..
I was too excited when you are around me..i couldn’t ask for more..
How can i let you know what i’m feeling for you straightly..But i was too concerned to my own fear. Is that hard just to telling the truth about your feeling Med?! People said..Just let it flow..It was something you can’t deny.. I wish it would be that simple..

Today i spent my time at Bogor with Yudith..At first,he had appointment with his pal, and i planned to make some jeans in one of well-known jeansmaker in Jalan Pahlawan. But then his pal canceled it. So Yudith came up with me. I made 2 jeans, and he made one and a long pant. We went to Makaroni Panggang after to accomplished our fast today (i really want to go there for long time before)..Great place that afternoon, we took the corner spot near by the window at 2nd floor (Shinta was right! Cool place!)..The sunLight shine calm this afternoon, feel so beautiful. Surrounded by smooth light from the hangin’ lamp upside our table adding more quite and peace feeling..So perfect for afternoon chat..Old building arranged to make a perfect hommy atmosphere..But shame on the table we took designed such a bar table..Decrease the comfort that had made before (i wonder if they change it with comfy couch!!).. We ordered a medium baked macarroni as our main course, kolak pisang as Yudith appetizer (he told me that he had longed for kolak since has no one made for him..), a chocolate-cheese-honey mix pancake, a fresh fruit salad (with good sweet-sour taste and caramel dressing on the top), a seawed ice (that tasted not much in different with kolak unless using a fresh seawed), blue lechy ice, and a tasty orange youghurt (my fave!!)..For all, except the macarroni, was great in taste! We were talking lot stuff of our past moments (quite surprised knowing who he was). I think i’m getting understand him better..Hahaha.. I was having such a good time in Bogor..Hope my jeans done well thx Dith..

Semalem buka puasa bareng sama temen2 kantor di daerah serpong…cukup seru la, even yang dateng g sebanyak yg direncanakan (EO nye payah ni…hahaha…no heart feelin’). Cukup me-refresh-kan suasana hati setelah sibuk beberapa hari belakangan dengan urusan kantor dan masalah "perasaan"..hhaaiiaahh!!!! tapi yang paling menyenangkan, my main duty for the last recent 4 months already wraped-up!!…hahaha…lega rasanya …sumpah, makanannya banyak bangget…saking banyaknya, gw g pengen makan nasi…secara pembukanya aja ade 7 rupa lebih…("bukan Medio yang biasanya" kata Agung and Ratna…hahaha!!! secara mereka udah ngeliat bagaimana cara gw "memperlakukan" makanan enak sewaktu kita liburan di jogja and Bandung…wew…). And it all end up with Chocolate Ice cream that Yudhit brought that night…(and Agung saved once that night for the words he made b4…)…perfecto!

Semalem, karena ga ada barengan pulang ke"Kota" - the place where i used to livin’ - (secara serpong itu kan udah lintas daerah dan budaya bukan…hahahaha…untung aja blum lintas zona waktu), akhirnya gw decide untuk nginep di tempat Agung (dan itu pun setelah berpura2 desperate dengan beberapa sandiwara dan drama sehari sebelumnya sampai akhirnya Agung menawarkan untuk stay di tempat dia…hahaha…gottca’!!)…plus…sampe’ ngejanjiin a tastiful chocolate ice cream (FYI only…he had made this promise twice, and suddenly reminded and regret it!!!hahaha!!!)…Nyokapnya ramah banget jo’…jadi g enak ngerepotin …setelah sahur, yang rencananya gw mo ngelanjutin tidur biar g ngantuk and ketinggalan jemputan, malah jadi ngobrol sampe matahari terang…akhirnya gw ngantuk gila sekarang!!!…mmm…maap ye Gung, gw mesti nolak tawaran lu untuk brangkat bareng by motorcycle…bukannye g cinta jo’…tapi gw tau gw bakalan "melek" sepanjang jalan, muka cemong, baju brantakan, smell gak karuan plus kudu ngangkot lagi…mending gw naek bus jemputan…nyaman, bisa tidur, murah, g pake kena debu…hhaayyaahhh!!!! Btw…thx 4 your kindness dude.

recently i’m in mood to listen "close to you" by the carpenters. it made me want to swing everytime i listened to the song. hahaha…i think it would be awesome if us have some swing together…hahaha…it’ll be something cool, i bet it will!! really slow and easy song, but sweet.

Why do stars, Fall down from the sky?
Everytime you walk by
Just like me, They long to be
Close to you

on the day that you were born, The angels got together and decided
To create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair, Of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

that is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around
Just like me, They long to be
Close to you

got some trouble sleepin’ recent days…it was all started couple days ago when i had some strange dream, the one i had before long time ago. it’s really ridiculous thing for me, but could effecting my eternal feeling and balance! again, i sawing you with other…different one this moment…holding hand. and suddenly, i couldn’t breath…so hard…then the rain came pouring down when i was running to somewhere i can’t remember. it was all so weird for me…why should i run…why it’s happened again?? i woke in shock…still…it’s harder to breath after. i came to afraid to something that i don’t even know…nor understand. am i jealous on you?…but if i am, who am i jealouse with? and what for?…still…i couldn’t understand. and it’s affecting me until today…and caused me trouble sleeping for last recent days after that dream.

Today, life seems won’t good to me…everything’s mess. untrust…that’s what i suddenly feel. hurting me so bad. left, abandone, lost, and they took all of mine…everything goes upside down. what i believe i had, i hadn’t. i hate people today. i even haven’t place to talk. i’m keeping my sorrow by my self, and nothing i can do. why life treat me this way!!! what have i done wrong??!! I used to believe that everything’s came for a reason…but i couldn’t take any reason for sure…and still could not accept it for what ever it may!!! Why life become so cruel for me for this recent days!!! Did you want to see me broke!! I’m falter already!!! what else do you expect!!! The feeling of desperate, rejected, dumped, lost, guilty and hopless…that’s what’ve been take control of me.

This is the moment i Falter…with no place to run …or arms to Hold…even a Shoulder to cry.

Hahaha..Ratna dudul..Gw jg udah curiga kl di skincare langganan lu bkl lbh mahal..Haha..
Abis setengah jeti bow..Yg lebih malu2in,duitnya kurang..Kartu gw direject terus lagi. Akhirnya,terpaksa gw minta Heru untuk transfer..Benar2 memalukan..Haha..Pasti mba’2 kasirnya dah BT nge-swiping card gw yg ditolak terus menerus eventhough udah di tambah transferan Heru..Maafkan kami.. (;-_-)v
mmpphh..Mana Dokternya temen chatting gw dulu..Wew..Kebetulan yg aneh..He..he..