… siMpLe tHouGht of -mEd’z- …

what an awkward i was…

yesterday i went to Awal’s birthday and brought him a birthday cake. ternyata di acaranya, dia undang anak2 angkatan dia..cuma gw, kukuh dan ratna yg lintas angkatan…hehehe. it was about 15 to 18 people came around. i was very late, so i miss the "dine" (and got really starved at night!!). and there was goes the "birthday-first cake" moment, and i was shocked when it was me he choose to accept that first cut!! hahaha…i was kinnda supprised and being awkwared when all eyes get stared at me pointing my gutz out!! hahaha…i was afraid to swept-seeing the people around, and suddenly shifting my awkwardness to a small chat with kukuh (still try to ignore others…i was a truly great pretender!!!haha..). And what made it more ridiculous was, Awal didn’t gave the cake to others, he just ate the second cut and just let the cake round it self between the people…Gosshhhh!!!

kinnda flattered…    … huhuhu… thx ya Wal…

gw jadi inget kejadian 2 hari yang lalu, tepatnya di sore hari setelah jam kantor berakhir. gw lagi males pulang cepat hari itu, kebetulan temen2 gw lagi on-line disaat bersamaan…ya ngobrol2 seru lah saat itu. Sampai akhirnya temen gw yg "ajaib", Nouvel (a.k.a phelle … panggilan yang aneh ya…) namanya, ikutan online…akhirnya gw, shinta, enin dan si phelle chat bareng (tumben2an bangget setelah hampir 2 taon gw ngantor..hahaha). ternyata mereka lagi pada di kampus ngumpul2…well, cukup supprising jg ketemu si phelle, secara dia gaptek ma YM…hahaha (status nya off-line aje dia kaga tau!!!dudul bangget kan!!!). berhubung mereka online nya per-window ma gw, dan gw rada ribet ngobrol and ngejawabin satu2, gw bilang lah ke phelle…

nouvel : me…besok kita ngumpul lagi yuk di plangi, tempat kemaren…

gw : phe, kite nge-room aje yuk…ribet neh

nouvel : hah…ngamar me…emang nya gak papa nih me….

inti nya -> gw ngajakin si phelle untuk chatting ma shinta dan enin di room dan nyuruh si phelle yg starting conference…tapi si phelle mikir kl gw ngajak dia ngamar dr pada makan si sky-dining…  …hahahaha… sumpah, gw ma shinta ngakak aje pas gw kasi tau die ttg si phelle!!!

mmpphhh….otaknya bener-bener gak jauh2 dari selangkangan  ….uuppzzz….sworry phe’….

kemarin benar-benar hari yang sangat menyebalkan!!! di kantor BT, di luar BT, sampe di gym pun bikin BT juga!!! aaarrgghhhh!!!!

yang paling nyebelin tuh trainer gw si Do**y!! udah tau gw baru pertama kali ngelakuin bench squad, masa ngarepin langsung bisa sih!!! ya wajar lah kl gw ngeluh dan kesakitan gara2 kram!!! eh, jadi dia nya yg malah sewot!!! BT BANGGET SI!!! Ude gitu dia rada males gitu pas ngasi gw alat foot-press yang dia kasi beban 70kg dan gw d sanggup ngelakuin dorongan pertama (even setelah second set gw mampu dg beban 80kg!!!)…ya wajarlah kl gw rada2 canggung and blom mampu untuk latihan pertama kali otot paha gw!! kok jadi dia yg males si!!! mana kaki gw kram2 lagi setelah latihan…dan sampe sekarang!!! aarrgghhh!!! BT BANGGET!!!! mana kehujanan lagi pulangnya!!!!

ude gitu bos nye temen gw si Lut** jg g kalah bikin BT!! komentar aja sih ma penampilan gw…ya terserah gw lah mo rambut diapain…toh g ada efek ke kerjaan kan!!! mo rambut panjang ato pendek, kan yang penting kerjaan gw beres smua dan on-time!! ngapain sih ngurusin cassing orang!! toh juga g urakan!!! padahal orang2 di bagian gw aje g da yang protes!!

Benar-benar hari yang menjemukan!!!!

Last night I was having call with Syam. Damn!! It was such a really long time not seing him. I really miss him so much. It’s about a year (perhaps more) we’ve not seen each other, or even talk on the phone. We were busy each other made things in order in our life. Last time we met were on his visiting to Jakarta in early moment I started to work in the bureau.

We were talking on many thing and almost took half an hour. I was quite surprised the moment he told me that he’s goin’ to marry soon. After so many struggling and heart broken, he found his soulmate yet. But I bit doubt it, coz he told me that he do the Ta’aruf way (the Islamic way in finding future wife/husband without having date or engage phase. They were introduced each other by the person they trust and know very well whose recommending the candidate, learn the bio of each person, and if there’s any agreeable continued, they’ll going to meet each other.). But I think, perhaps that’s the way God gave him a right person.

He told me that he was abandoned by his ex-girlfriend after so many sacrifice he made (And I heard bout this too from Rici). He seems always got in trouble with girls he loved. I bit confuse ‘bout how life’s goes…Syam was a kind of a man who would do any thing for the one he love, but most person he love seems like to disappointed and hurt him. Left and abandon him away. But he never gave up (even though I know how hard it was for him to keep his head up high after, and rare to complain). Life is funny!! There’s a man who would ready to do any thing for the one he loves and sacrifice almost whole of his life, but all the thing he got in the end was disappointed, hurt and left. While I, the man who always pessimist about Love, but often to fall in with (most of) wrong person, also (often) to end up in misery, regret, and abandoned. Is there a place for guy like us be able to find our true love…a person who really want and ready perfectly to us…Gossshhh!!! That’s why I really hate to fall in Love!!!

I was quite touched when I heard how hurt he was in his relationship before…poor Syam!! But we laugh after, seing how stupid he was, fallen too deep to a wrong person and sacrifice too much to a girl that didn’t Love him anymore. Hahaha…I think he better reconsider me to be his boyfriend…hahaha…(coz he told me that how lucky I am if I got him!!)…you wish that dude!! I told him to better be luck next time, and ALWAYS remember to use his brain everytime he fall in again. Love may blind, but not fool, only when you want to use your brain to think!

I miss his family hospitality everytime I stay abroad during my holiday in Bali, especially his mother who always asked me to eat lot of food she made everytime I was there. Syam always act to be “look-good” (even though sometimes he look quite good…hahaha!!!), and truly has a confident inside him. He got a pure Balinesse accent for a Borneo man. He’s honest, caring and love to make happy people around him (especially his closed friend…and I counted!!). He loves to make us laugh…ouuww…I miss him so much…and I miss my fellas while I was lived in Bali. Syam asked me to came by once, he’s lonely now in Bali. Our friends has separated. Only me whose lucky have Shinta here in Jakarta. Rici is in Portugal with her husband, so is Jose in Singapore. Frank is in East Timor while Yunita is still finishing her study at Jogja. Diah live in Bandung now. And I don’t know where Juwita is…

Roled by Felicity Huffman (Desperates Housewifes) and Kevin Zegers. Bree (Huffman), a born-again Christian and a pre-operative, male-to-female transsexual, hold down two jobs and save every penny so that she can pay for one last operation that will make her a woman at last. One day, however, she receives a strange phone call. It appears that on the other side is Toby (Zegers), apparently her son, who must be the product of a somewhat clumsy sexual encounter years ago when she was a man. He stays in New York, incarcerated. Toby also has childhood sexual abasements from his step father. Bree flies from LA to New York in order to get the boy out of jail as one of the condition before she gets her pronouncement letter to do the sexual-transformation operation. The journey goes and things happened as she tried to covering her status as a transsexual female, and the fact that she was Toby’s father whose he’s been looking for. A Truly great story!! I remember when Toby tells that he loves her after the journey they been through, and how he told that he wants to marry her after he kissing her… before knowing that he fells in love with his own dad. You must seen this movie also, coz the story will lead us to understand the live of a transsexuals are. They become this way not because it was an option, but it’s a destiny they should take with.

Huby, my love… Let’s fly away…

Maybe beyond the smoke and the fighting, there’s a better place.

I was planning to find DVD tittled P.S. I Love You roled by Gerard Buttler and Hillary Swank, coz I haven’t watch the movie yet. But I couldn’t find any of it. So I bought other DVD, and was interested to some award-winning tittled. I took 7 of it and I’m gonna tell you my point-of-view in my simple mind of those movie..

Ini film sebenarnya yang bener-bener pengen nonton ituh si Ratna…ngga’ bangget yah!!! Yaudah lah, dari pada gw mati boring di hotel (sebenernya si guest-house yg setara ma hotel bintang 3…biar gaya aje gw sebut hotel..ahahaha!!!), mending gw ikut die aje…gak rugi2 banget ini, lha wong dibayarin…hahaha…akhirnya berhubung gak ada kendaraan buat gw ke theater (hayyahh!!), gw minta lah si Awal buat jemput gw dipenginapan malam itu. Dengan sandal jepit ngembat punya temen sekamar gw plus penampilan yg blum berubah sejak pagi (hehehe…g boleh sirik!!), brangkat lah kita ke bioskop. Well, gosh!! Kenapa banyak banget masyarakat Serpong yang amat sangat tertarik sama ni phelem (udah 4 teater di buka, masih aja dapetnya yg jam 22.45!! GILING kan!!)…padahal, dari beberapa orang (yg udah menyaksikan film ini) yg gw minta komentar ttg ni film, sebagian besar memang kecewa. But that’s the fact…the famoucity of this book made people expected TOO MUCH to the movie, which in my own perspective, bagian ke tiga-perempat of whole movie wasn’t too bad lah (justru menimbulkan pemikiran dan penyadaran bagi diri gw sendiri…), yaitu bagian saat Fakhri difitnah memperkosa. Well, that part was the best scenes, especially the moment at the jail or at Aisah ask Fakhri to having Poligamy. Ya…cukup menyentuh lah…But the rest…SUCK!!! Sinetron abis!!! Secara lu ambil setting di Mesir, bukan berarti sah hampir semua kegiatan dan aktifitas berbahasa Indonesia (hanya karena ini film Indonesia). Lu cuman bakal nemuin bahasa Arabic (Or Mesir…I don’t know which one is right..) hanya dalam percakapan-percakapan singkat dan ayat-ayat Al-Quran (selebihnya ngga’…even di persidangan pun berbahasa Indo…get a life!!!). Gw belum tau gimana bukunya, tapi yang jelas gw gak terlalu suka filmnya. Ngga’ dapet bangget!!!
Yang gw suka dari film ini mungkin karakter dari Maria and Nurul…they play well. Dan mungkin yang paling bagus. Untuk karakter Fakhri sendiri, even dia jago banget nangisnya, tetep kurang kena euy…mmpphhh…sayang sebenernya, karena menurut teman-teman, apa yang ada di buku tidak tergambar indah di film tersebut…dan saya yang hanya berada di posisi penonton hanya bisa berkomentar, apa lagi nonton secara gratis (ya untungnya sih begitu, jadi kritiknya gak sadis-sadis banget…hahaha). Over all…biar ditawarin untuk nonton sekali lagi gratisan jg gw mungkin gak akan ragu2 untuk menolaknya…hehehe…wasting time aje…uuppzzz, sworry…ya, ini kan hanya berdasarkan sudut pandang orang awam penikmat film2 berkualitas…hehe. Like it or not, all up to you lah..

Words that inspired me…

"aku tidak merasa kalah dalam penantian ini..", aku hanya merasa lelah yang teramat sangat. setelah mengurung hatiku dalam cinta yang tak pernah terjawab.
seperti duri yang tidak pernah kusadari seberapa dalam meninggalkan luka perih. menikmati sakitnya sampai tak terasa lagi luka telah mengalirkan darah. begitu dalamnya cinta sampai tak bisa kubedakan lagi mana tangis, mana tawa. dua-duanya jadi satu dalam butiran nelangsa. terbata dalam kata, tertatih dalam jejaknya. aku mulai kecewa. perlahan tapi pasti tertahan tapi tak punya daya aku untuk kembali. aku mungkin telah pergi tapi tak pernah berlari dari mu…..

- took fr anonymus -