… siMpLe tHouGht of -mEd’z- …

"l’ve realized that life is indeed full of contradictions. sometimes its crazy to be sane, u need to fall to fly, people suffer bcoz u care, u have to unlearn to know the lesson, u have to give up bcoz ur strong, u have to be wrong to make things right… nonetheless, life’s complexities r also life’s source of beauty. we should cry to laugh again, fall apart to b whole again and get hurt to LOVE again… im ready for it…"

what a such deep thing huh…i found this thought when i was lazy-browsing while killin’ time in this boring afternoon (i still haven’t anything to do until this hour!!).

did we need to get hurt to love again?? deep within, i’m still wondering ’bout it. i hate being hurted. everyone does too… *drink my green tea.* but i’m sure, the man behind that thought might had through those such things before.

"Life is full of contradictions". abseloutly agree !! do we ever felt that sometimes what we had not as what we wanted?? what we smile of not as what our heart spooken…or even what we did to someone we love only based to keep the line goes okay, as we need the "secure-feeling" from the relationship. sometimes we think we had enough understanding our partner…but will they ever understand us?? in contrarary, they might do the same thought of us. i ever read 1 wise words back when i was studying, "People do what they used to do. If we get hurt by that, it wasn’t their fault. We hurt our self by thinking that what they did has hurt us, and pointing the mistakes to them. while actually they’re just doing what they used to do." . Most of us must have through this moment. and i admit that i’m often pointing the mistakes to people whenever i get bothered by something. but that, i believe, is one of "the grown-up process" which i’m still learning. i’m crying now…and in preparing for my laugh one day…and i will smiling, as i found my true source of happiness one day. i won’t left my memories behind, but i’ll keep it in my pocket! so one day i could feel trully greatful for the happiness i found while my hand grasp those painful times i’ve been through. hope so…

*playing Never To Know by Lene Marlin…

jadi inget salah satu perbincangan gw dengan abang supir angkot back when i was on my travelling in Tanjung Pinang couple days ago before i came back to Batam. dia bilang…kalau kita hidup harus sesuai dengan syafaa’t agama. kita juga harus bersyukur atas pekerjaan yang kita miliki hingga kini (disaat gw bener-bener merasa jenuh dan bosan dengan rutinitas kerjaan yang selama ini gw jalanin…beuhh…pas bener ya kang…). jangan terlalu "ngoyo" tentang suatu hal. syukuri saja apa yang Tuhan telah berikan ke kita hingga saat ini. dia juga bilang kalo’ gw kudu perbanyak Sholat, Insyaallah rizky akan dipermudah. dan Insyaallah dimudahkan segala urusannya…(dalem banget yah…). "Saat ini susah mencari pekerjaan, jadi kamu harus bersyukur atas pekerjaan yang kamu punya…dan sebisa mungkin bekerja untuk hasil yang terbaik…"  (beuh…mata gw berkaca-kaca euy dengernya…). Dia juga bicara tentang planning masa depan disaat muda agar gw gak menyesal saat nanti gw beranjak mulai berumur…dan dia memberikan sample tentang dirinya yang (menurut dia) termasuk terlambat merancang masa depannya (karena dihabiskan sia-sia dalam kesenangan semu). Sebenernya si Abang belum terlalu tua…he’s even haven’t been 30 yet (maybe around 28 - 29). tapi dia bicara bijak banget. like a brother told his little bro.

Dalem banget yah…Shinta bilang kalau mungkin saat itu Tuhan sedang berbicara sama gw melalui si Abang…dan gw pun mulai berpikir untuk mensyukuri apa yang sudah gw miliki sampai saat ini…termasuk pekerjaan gw yang, jujur, gw mulai jenuh banget. gw pun mulai berpikir untuk merencanakan masa depan gw…gak bisa selamanya gw hidup dalam hedonisme yang selama ini jadi pelarian…mmpphhh…gw harus stop kebiasaan travelling gw yg benar-benar boros. Nyokap gw sebenernya juga pernah ngomong tentang ini… (duh, kenapa tiba-tiba keinget tampangnya itu Abang yah…hahaha…)

*ya Allah, semoga Kau membukakan pintu rizky dan berkah mu untuk si Abang Angkot itu dan keluarganya…Amin.

"Dua hati…pernah percaya,

seribu mimpi. Tanpa ragu tanpa curiga…

Ku tak ingin lagi menunggu menanti

Harapan tuk hidupkan cinta yang telah mati…

Ku tak ingin coba, Ku telah kecewa

Lelah ku bersenyum lelah ku bersandiwara…

Aku ingin pergi…dan berganti hati…"

Berganti Hati (No Song), performed by Anggun in her latest record tittled Elevation. i reply this song for almost entire this week on my player. mmpphh…in deeply disappointed with Piglet. Dan memang, jujur saat ini…udah kecewa. dan mungkin…don’t want to give any chance, avoiding another disappoint may happened. berat memang…tapi…mmmpphhh…dia yang buat ini. dan gw yang ambil keputusan…untuk berhenti. I don’t need any reason or explaination from Piglet. dan memang gak ada yang perlu dijelaskan lagi…just want to let go…sedih juga sih setiap saat dia kirim mesej through sms or ym…i ignore…(just like Piglet did to me…). I Love Piglet, but I really disappointed by Piglet.

beuhhh…weekend kemarin beberapa kali gw liat video klip baru nya agnes monica tittled "Teruskanlah" … anjrottt!! gw stunned!! she’s awesome!!! lagunya bagus bangettt…huhuhu…video klipnya juga keren…i like her in short hair. *jadi inget film Israel tittled Caramel…"Only beautiful women will suited the short hair…", said one of the character whose in short.*, dan memang…agnes monica so suited in short way!! dan gw suka banget tu lagu…huhuhu…

mmm, jadi pengen beli CD nya deh, mau tau kejutan-kejutan apa lagi yang bakal ada di albumnya kali ini (apaan seehh!!!hahaha!!)…hhmmpphhh…nabung ah, so bulan depan bisa get her latest CD…  *what??!! nabung?? apaan yg mo ditabung mang??!! hahaha…* … well, at least kudu nunggu gaji bulan depan dulu lah kl gitu, secara ye ni akhir bulan mo travelling lagi agak jauh…hahaha…*dasar boros!!!  huhuhu*

okay, my next travelling plan will be at this end of month, 23rd - 26th of April. dan akhirnya officially gw batal ke Singapore…ffiiuuhhh…dan lebih mengecewakannya lagi, back-up plan gw ke Tanjung Pinang berantakan gara-gara si Rudi batalin ikut ke sana…well, im totally disappointed. gak tau lah gimana nanti disana…palingan kl g mood gw jg batal berangkat. jadi males euy…couple days ago i already decided back to the first plan to SG, but i haven’t apply for a passport until today. arrrgghhh…i need a holiday now *tizzy…

mmm, tiba-tiba terinspirasi untuk me-rearrange semua tulisan-tulisan tentang backpacking gw ke dalam bentuk yg lebih profesional deh… *ide ini muncul setelah bertemu dengan salah satu teman lama (Echa) waktu karokean bareng couple days ago…she’s a reporter for Detik Food recently…*. ya sapa tau aja bisa dikaryakan buat modal next travelling…hahaha…

mmpphh…akhir-akhir ini males euy mo ngapa-ngapain…gak da semangat dan gak ada penyemangat hidup kayaknya…di kantor sih nyaman-nyaman aja, tapi kok rasanya pengen pindah kerja ya ke sesuatu yang dinamis…i really want to meet peoples. capek terisolasi seharian di satu ruangan aja dari senin-jumat…huhuhu…oh iya, masa si "bos" nya temen benar-benar menyebalkan banget!!! maen suruh-suruh aja serasa dia bos gw!!! udah gitu maunya pake’ cepet lagi…kenapa nggak dia aja yang ngerjain!!! emang ya kalo orang cuman kemampuan dasarnya "ngemeng" sama "licking somebody ass" tuh suka irritating bgt!!! kata Andre yg sempet gw curhatin : "di tiap kantor emang selalu ada tokoh antagonis seperti itu…cuekin aja…"… *mendadak brasa tokoh protogonis yang kerjaannya cuman nangis terus di sinetron…hahaha…*. duh, gw belom posting lagi travel story ke Cirebon kemarin…masih males nulis euy…hahaha… *benar-benar profesionalisme yang nanggung!!!*

couple days ago mawan gave me the CD he promised me before…well, actually i asked him to bought for me…hehehe…never thought he seriously did that…im so happy he bought me new record from Anggun tittled "Elevation". what a damn good stuff!!! i really love the music, thought i do more love her Chrysalis record…the music quite "loud" here by couple of songs using "rap" stuff such My Man and Stronger, that for me, shamely i a bit irritated. i more love her slow song such Berganti Hati (No Song) *and this song mean so fu*kin deep for me recently!!!* or a medium tempo songs such A Change and Hide And Run. I do love all the tracks (liarrr!!!!hahaha…), well, honestly i prefer the "unhectic" songs…hehehe…and mostly fell in love with Give It To Love and Is It a Sign?. don’t know why, in this record, some songs are remind me to Nelly Furtado’s latest record tittled "Loose"…the musics are simple and easly make you want to dance…not too loud and not too heavy. For those whose in love recently, then Jadi Milikmu (Crazy) will perfectly describing your heart…i did !! i was grinning everytime i paid attention to its lyrics…was back when i’m still inlove so much with Piglet… ! Try to listen Shine, then it’s kindda morning mood lifter that raise you up to beat the greatest day of your life (and it’s remind me to Colbie Caillat’s song tittled Taylor Made…)!! Another song is Sebelum Berhenti (Seize The Moment), yepz…a techno-pop music accompanying its positive lyrics about life, trully like a wake-up-call for me!!hahaha…I trully recommend this album as must-have-things to you all. and i do lovely to brought this stuff as my next travel-mate this end of April…one word for Anggun…Awesome!! Thx Wan…love you.

okay…gw kecewa. tapi pada akhirnya gw tau, siapa orang yang pantas buat gw dan siapa yang sama sekali salah untuk gw pilih selama ini. Piglet, i am trully disapponted by you!!! dan mungkin dengan cara ini Tuhan menunjukkan kalau kamu selama ini adalah orang yang salah. I love you, but now i think there’s only half part of my heart wants you. aku udah terlalu kecewa sama apa yang kamu lakuin. don’t need to explain, coz part of me already don’t need any reason. I’m tired to argue…and decide. Sudah cukup jelas buat gw…

wah…senangnya…hari ini tiba-tiba dapet kado datang terlambat 5 bulan lebih…huahaha…maap guyz…

yes, tadinya gw cuman bilang ke momo kalo gw gak bawa kemeja lagi buat dinas besok, cuma bawa 1 lembar kemeja yang tiba-tiba berubah menjadi untuk 2 hari tugas (dan baru dikabarinnya hari ini pula!!!). gw pikir momo bisa pinjemin lah ke ade’ nya kan, secara besok dia juga ikut tugas dan gw udah harus brangkat malem ini duluan..pake nanya size sgala…padahal kan ade’ nya mayan "gede" yah …bingung deh tu gw…ternyata eh ternyata…tadi dia ke tendean plaza bersama siti erwina untuk membelikan ku kado yang datang lebih lambat 5 bulan…hahaha…keren kemeja nyah (dan gw g perlu sebut merk kan ya )…ya even warnanya "dewasa", hihihi…jadi brasa udah banyak euy umur nyah…tapi cukup pas di badan…(lengan gw mungkin yg udah "bertambah" ya jadi kok brasa pas banget…huehe…jadi gak enak kan ototnya kemana-mana…huahaha!!!). Thx ya guyz…love it!

i want to tell you bout my second travel this year to Solo and Jogja. got long weekend from 26th to 29th of March and i took the trip from 25th afternoon start from Jakarta by Economy - AC bus with fare of IDR 90 K and 2 - 3 sitting row order. and the bus quite awful!! and my travel buddy a bit dissappointed by my choose..  it’s because we never had a bus before, so we didn’t know which buses are "better" and which are "good with price". he had in Solo by 26th morning and start to travel finding a good taste there. i ate steak (a cheap and recommend one at Jl. Slamet Riyadi) named Rumah Makan Kusuma Sari. i ordered a sirloin steak for only IDR 9 K and Huzarensla Salad (mix of apple and some fruit, carrot, tomatto, smoked beed, vegetable and boiled egg poured by mayo and thousand island) for about IDR 6 K. my friend ordered chicken steak for IDR 8 K and Selat Kusuma Sari (a kind of salad soup - coz their using gravy, just as the same taste as the steak sauce). they’re using flour on their steak and they’re made the sauce more liquid, but still the meat are okay and tasty!! we spent only IDR 42 K for 2 person…worth for money! my travel buddy took me to the quite famous bakery house in Solo named Wonder Bakery at Jl. Gajah Mada No. 132 A. They got Cheese rounded-Bread and Meat Bread in price of IDR 10,300 also Large Meat Bread IDR 13,300 (i recommend three of it beside a buch of other bread available). While waiting for my friend having facial treatment (what a hell he doin’!!! ), i had a cappucinno at Bistro Coffee & Lounge in Solo Square. the couch is quite comfy while having a conversation with my love via cellphone…hehehe…the coffee price at IDR 19 K (average price as in Jakarta i guess). We also went to find a must ate "Srabi Notosuman" @ Jl. Moh. Yamin, Kratonan. Each of plain Srabi cost IDR 1,600 (IDR 15 K for 10) and chocolate Srabi cost IDR 1,800 (IDR 17 K for 10), i prefer the plain one…more deliciously oily with coconut oil taste!!

then we had a trip to Jogja for a day. arrived at Yogyakarta at 27th afternoon and booked a guest house at Wisma Batan in Jl. Babarsari for IDR 40 K/person/night with standard room with AC and inside bathroom (but sorry, the guest house at that price are for member only.. ). we had dine at Mie Kadin (i ever wrote about Mie Kadin in one of my travel story at Jogja in this blog before…). 1 plate of Mie (noodle)/Bihun (rice noodle) Rebus cost for IDR 10 K and Es Tape for IDR 2 K. And having a coffee at "Angkringan" (a place for local to having coffee and gathered, most at side of the road in the city of Jogja such in Malioboro and side of Tugu train station - the most famous one), the coffee are made so dark and strong which also they put the firely charcoal inside the coffee to give a strong taste and different smell from the coffee. The next morning we went to Borobudur Temple at Magelang. The temple still look gorgeous!! don’t forget to put your sunblock!! but don’t worry, there’s lot of people renting the umbrella for IDR 2 - 3 K per trip. the fare to entering the site cost IDR 15 K for domestic (i forget the fare for foreigner  ). there’s also a guide you can hire for 1 trip to whole site and they will explain to you ’bout the Borobudur history by paying another IDR 50 K. we also went to Mendut Temple (about 1,5 KM to Yogyakarta direction from Borobudur). it’s a different temple i ever seen. we can also enter into the inside of the temple where there’s three Large Buddha statue in 3 differen angle. many people used to pray in this place (in Buddhanisme). The fare cost only IDR 3,300 for domestic. the temple showing the "Buddha" carved in every wall-side around it (it’s really good to having picture there!!). we had lunch after back to Yogyakarta at Ayam Goreng Ninit at Jl. C. Simanjutak No. 20 and already established since 1988. they got a very powerfull Sambal (chilli) which gonna make you sweat LOT!!! try the Sambal Bawang, the most biting chilli!! Four Ayam Goreng (fried chicken), two Sambal, two Pepes Bakso (steam meat-ball in coconut sauce), one pepes tahu (steam tofu in coconut sauce) and 7 bottle softdrink for only IDR 54 K (WHAT A CHEAP HUH!!!). then after we had a coffee in Frappio at Jl. Babarsari before we return to Solo. a cup of cappucinno (always be my fave one… ) in price IDR 10,700 (free wifi and very cozy couch!! be sure you reserved first, it’s always full at night).

Back to Solo at 28th night and had a trip to Tawangmangu high land in the next morning. I had appointment with Iqbal, which in his traveling too at Yogyakarta the day before, to travel to Tawangmangu. we went to Grojogan Sewu Waterfall. the ticket cost IDR 6 K for domestic and IDR 15 K for foreigner. along the path to the waterfall are so slippy coz it had been rain when we came. the monkey were freely jump from a tree to another and run in pathway to waterfall (so beware of your belonging and be surely supervised!!). the path quite far, use a comfy shoes or tracking sandals are suggested. the waterfall look amazing! really high. and the sound made from the water falling just like a bomb dropped with hard blowin’ wind. it’s a really great spot to having pic there. the site often to be peak at weekend by locals and domestic tourist. most people are renting the spot with mat (so you can have your Picnic!! hahaha). there’s also a horse ride service from and to the entering gate-parking lot, and many craft seller (also fruits, vegetables, flowers and other) along the street-walk. We return to Jakarta at afternoon taking a Bussiness class bus (Rosalia Indah…i recommend this bus if you willing to having a trip Jakarta-Solo, vice versa, by bus) with fare of IDR 135 K (the executive class in fare of IDR 150 K and the economy class in fare of IDR 115K). the bussiness and executive class are facilitated with dinner box, small bottle mineral water and a blanket plus a comfy seat…yet still, i had to make to the office by the next morning with dizzy had and jetlag…  !!! oughh…what a travelling one huh!!!